Parallel Universe's first publication for 2016 will be Richard Staines'
controversially non-PC collection of football horror stories
England "B": Ninety Minutes of Hell.
If you thought recent scandals involving FIFA were bad enough, worse is
to come in the sorry saga of Vince Grinstead and the England World Cup
"B" team and their nightmare fixtures of the 1970s.
WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ABOUT RICHARD STAINES:
“Please get in all the Richard Staines horror books and chuck out all
that other rubbish you have on the shelves.” The T.L.S. (Tooting Library
Service), message left on their public noticeboard, 1975.
“Richard Staines is one of the most valued contributors to our magazine
and we are glad to have him, despite the avalanche of protests. No
animals were actually harmed in the photo-spread referred to.” Readers
Wives editorial, 1977.
“Unfortunately, the jury have not been able to reach a verdict due to
food poisoning, hit and run incidents, and the disappearance of close
family members, but the great British public outside this courtroom will
doubtless make up its own mind about your filthy, depraved, sickening
and contemptible books. Case dismissed. You may leave the dock.” Lord
Justice Haigh (deceased), summing up in the case of Regina vs Richard
Staines, 1978.
“Many horror authors insult the intelligence of the people. Staines not
only does this but is a bloody good read, too. He is the future of
horror in the 1980s.” Anonymous letter to Colour Climax, 1979.
“We do not feel under any obligation to have to respond on a point by
point basis to your repeated claims that the Nobel Prize committee for
Literature have deliberately overlooked your horror fiction and cannot
undertake to reply to any further letters on this matter.” Official
letter from Lars Svenson (deceased), Nobel Prize Award Committee,
Secretary, 1979.
“That snob and has-been Dennis Wheatley has never lived in a council
flat on a Peckham estate with only cheap cans of lager, a black and
white telly, and Yes and Genesis records to keep his muse lubricated.
Dennis Wheatley's simply not as socially relevant in today's world as a
“man-of-the-people” like Richard
Staines. The truth is that Wheatley recognises all this and was just being a dick when he refused to write the
introduction to Staines' book Psycho Flasher.” Anonymous letter to The
International British Black Magic and Horror Club Newsletter # 8, 1975.
